Presently, the rate of divorce in Nigeria is alarming, the marital bliss fades away more quickly in today’s marriage than how it was in the olden era.
Many people bask in the euphoria of getting married but cannot sustain the marriage after the initial ceremony.
Marriage is gradually losing its value, it is regarded as a brothel where one can easily jump in for sudden pleasure and jumps out when the pleasure diminishes.
There are many causes of divorce in Nigeria, many young people should know the causes so they do not repeat the mistakes of their predecessors.
However, this article on the causes of divorce in Nigeria will help you know the causes of divorce in Nigeria and the way to get rid of them in your marriage if you want to stay married as a man or woman.
Procedures For Divorce In Nigeria
Getting a divorce in Nigeria is not as easy as people think it is, nobody just wakes up to get divorced by the court, your reasons for divorce must be in consonance with the reason captured by the matrimonial Causes Act LFN 1990.
However, a decree of dissolution of marriage may not be granted by the judge even if both the husband and wife mutually agree to get a divorce for any reason. Some of the reasons that will make the court consider dissolving a marriage are:
1. The inability to consummate the marriage, that is, when a partner is denying the other partner sex or when one partner due to mental or health conditions cannot sexually satisfy the other partner.
2. When a man cannot provide for the family or take care of the family. This does not apply at all times, only if it can be proven to the court that the failure of the man to take care of the family has led to the marriage breaking down beyond repairs.
3. When a partner exhibits a character that is annoying to the other partner, and the other partner can no longer condone it, the habit can be a valid ground for a partner to file for divorce.
4. An abusive partner is a valid reason for divorce. Physical, mental, or emotional abuse is always not treated lightly by the court in the divorce process.
5. When a partner neglects the marriage or leaves the other partner and becomes incommunicado.
6. When the marriage was contracted under falsehood, half-truths or undeclared facts can as well be a ground for seeking a divorce.
7. When a partner falls sick and the other partner cannot cope with the mental or health condition especially if the infirmity that the partner is suffering from is communicable.
However, in Nigeria, before the prayer for divorce is granted by the judge, the couple must ascertain and it must also be seen that the marriage has broken beyond repairs.
It must be ensured that the couples have tried everything possible to make the marriage work but it is irredeemable, they have fallen apart and cannot be held together anymore.
Also, the court will be reluctant to grant partners divorce for a marriage that is less than two years, this is known as the two years rule.
However, to institute a divorce process in Nigeria, the party involved must first of all start by filing a petition in the high court of the state that has skillful jurisdiction.
The process is tedious and so the parties involved would need the help of a lawyer to guide them through the whole process.
Secondly, the party seeking divorce must present a marriage certificate and other necessary documents to ensure that the marriage is not less than two years.
Additionally, the party seeking the divorce must also prove to the court that the marriage has broken down beyond repairs and cannot be redeemed.
However, after concluding the trial and the Court is satisfied with everything, it may grant a decree of dissolution of marriage.
Also read: How To Plan A Wedding In Nigeria
10 Causes Of Divorce In Nigeria
Many people do not support divorce in Nigeria, even pastors, and marriage counselors, but it’s advisable to get a divorce if the marriage condition you are in is critical and life-endangering.
It is better to be single and stay alive in good physical and mental health than to risk your life, sanity, and children, especially in life-threatening situations.
There are so many causes of divorce in Nigeria, and these causes diver from family to family. However, we have researched some major causes of divorce in Nigeria, read them below.
1. Financial Issues
Financial issues are one thing that causes divorce in Nigeria. Many couples are not transparent with their finances and this has washed many marriages down the drain.
Many things like secret bank accounts, secret debt, and hidden purchases can all contribute to a marriage ending.
However, financial issues can also arise when one partner spends carelessly especially if he or she is not bringing anything to the table.
Furthermore, the inability of a man to provide for his family because of financial constraints can make a marriage go sour especially if the wife is not contented with what she is given.
Also, one partner footing all the bills and working tirelessly to make ends meet can lead to resentment and later divorce especially if he or she cannot cope again.
Moreover, there is a need for couples to plan and spend within their means. Do not come up with a need that is beyond the financial capability of the family especially if it is not very important.
Also, some women compare their husbands to other men in terms of financial capability, this may rub off a man of his dignity and may result in divorce if it persists.
Additionally, as partners, do not hide money from one another, whichever way you decide to handle money as a couple, ensure that you are both completely transparent with each other.
2. Third-Party Interference
Third-party interference in marriage has made many marriages collapse, and it should be avoided at all costs.
Third-party is a person or group of people involved in situations order than the couple, it can be the inlaws, friends, family members, co-workers, or neighbors.
When couples introduce third parties to their marital issues, their marriage can be endangered especially if they are given the wrong advice.
In Nigeria, many women love discussing the disagreements they had with their husbands with third parties, this often results in taking and implementing the wrong advice.
It is advisable; for couples to stop reporting their marital issues to third parties, no matter how significant those people are in their lives, even if they are their parents, pastors or imams, or spiritual priests.
3. Lack Of Trust
Lack of trust is also the major cause of divorce in Nigeria. Trust is an integral part of any relationship and it is very easy for couples to divorce because of a lack of it.
Lack of trust makes it impossible for couples to fully connect with each other, it makes couples to be uncomfortable in marriage.
Lack of trust is in a partner is emotionally exhausting and incredibly stressful to deal with.
It is very easy to break someone’s trust but very hard to gain it back, especially if the person is hurt. Building back trust is hard work, and it is worth it to keep a relationship.
A lack of trust occurs when lies, and secrecy emerges in a relationship. If your spouse has the behavior of constantly lying about everything, it would thwart your effort to communicate openly and honestly with one another.
When your spouse breaks your trust, you begin to question everything they do and become suspicious of their actions, text messages, calls, and going out.
4. Lack Of Intimacy
Lack of intimacy in marriage is another cause of divorce in Nigeria. Intimacy is very important in marriage, it is part of what keeps a marriage alive.
If a marriage lacks intimacy it becomes sour over time. This lack of intimacy is often seen among career women and long-distance marriages.
Lack of intimacy in marriage can make the partners feel unwanted, unattractive, and totally demotivated to continue the relationship.
Marriage can become slippery if one of the partners starts withdrawing from the other, feels unloved and insecure, starts cheating on the other, etc.
However, if intimacy issues are not properly dealt with, it can lead to divorce.
5. Lack Of Proper Communication
Lack of communication in marriage also contributes to the causes of divorce in Nigeria. Lack of communication is when couples find it difficult to talk about how they feel to each other, but rather keep silent and just drift apart over time.
Failure to communicate often results in conflict, especially if one partner is more open about their thoughts and feelings and the other is afraid to share his or her emotions.
However, the reasons couples fail to communicate properly in their relationship include:
1. Lack of private time together when they can talk and listen to each other.
2. The assumption that one partner should know what is bothering the other.
3. Unwillingness of one partner to consider the other’s point of view.
4. Avoidance of conversation because efforts to communicate often end in arguments.
It is very important for partners to listen to one another when they express themselves and also open up and share their feelings with them.
Communication is vital in a marriage, there is mutual understanding when you discuss complicated issues, such as finances, ways of bringing up children, running the household, and so on because mall problems that are kept silent might grow into bigger problems.
Many obstacles make communication to be difficult, and it is important to recognize these obstacles and put things in place to overcome them to sustain your marriage.
However, as a couple, when you want to communicate with each other, make sure you communicate calmly, and not aggressively.
6. Conflict And Irreconcilable Differences
Conflict and irreconcilable differences are some of the causes of divorce in Nigeria.
A conflict is a struggle or a serious disagreement on interest, opinion, and principles typically one lasting for a long time or longer than expected or usual.
Many things cause conflict in marriage, such as finances, and personal interests.
However, irreconcilable differences are the inability of two married people to resolve disagreements or contradicting opinions, which may lead to a negative and depressing relationship.
When there is irreconcilable differences in marriage, it means that the marriage is not fixable and some examples of irreconcilable differences are:
1. Communication difficulties.
2. Refusal to help in the household.
3. Differing political views.
4. In-law and family involvement.
5. Drifting apart due to different life goals and interests.
6. Disputes on finances and debt problems.
7. Loss of trust in the relationship.
8. Work that causes lasting long-distance separation.
9. Lack of sexual closeness.
10. Personality conflicts.
11. Parenting
12. Religion
7. Infidelity
Infidelity is one of the most common causes of divorce in Nigeria and many other countries around the world.
Infidelity is the act of a partner being unfaithful to the other in marriage. It simply means engaging in sexual or romantic relations with a person other than your spouse thereby breaking the promise to remain faithful to a romantic partner.
However, it is very hard to forgive and forget the pains caused by a cheating partner, that is why many people resort to divorce.
8. Domestic violence
Domestic violence is one of the most common causes of divorce in Nigeria and many other countries around the world.
Domestic violence is any kind of behavior a partner uses or threatens to use, to control his or her partner. Domestic violence can take different forms which are:
1. Physical abuse, that is, hitting, beating, pushing, and kicking. In many cases, physical abuse becomes more recurring and intense over time.
2. Sexual abuse, that is, any sexual acts that are forced on one partner by the other.
3. Psychological abuse which involves different behaviors such as oppression, the seclusion of the victim from friends and family, controlling the victim’s movement, making the victim feel guilty or crazy, and making absurd demands.
4. Emotional –abuse. that is, murdering an individual’s self-esteem, constant criticism, insults, put-downs, and name-calling.
5. Economic abuse, that is, limiting the victim’s access to family income, preventing the victim from working, destroying the victim’s property, and making all the financial decisions.
However, both men and women can be victims of domestic abuse, and it is one of the most serious problems in marriages, which demands special attention and a complicated procedure to be solved.
It is always advisable to run away from an abusive marriage, and file for divorce once your partner starts getting physical by beating you up or threatening to beat you up.
9. Alcohol addiction And Substance Abuse
Alcohol addiction and substance abuse are some of the causes of divorce in Nigeria. People who are Married to partners that are addicted to drugs and alcohol are always unhappy.
As the drinking and abusing of drugs get worse, it makes the couples take more and more time away from each other which may finally lead to divorce.
People in a relationship with partners who are addicted to alcohol and drugs often fight and argue a great deal, which sometimes can become violent.
Drug addiction causes conflict, and the conflict leads to more substance use as a way of lowering anxiety.
When this happens, conflict about the substance use escalates again, and more drinking or drug use occurs again repeatedly until one partner gets tired and files for divorce.
10. Lack Of Commitment
Lack of commitment is one of the major things that cause divorce in marriage. Marriages tend to suffer when couples lack commitment.
Also, when commitment in marriage is one-sided, it leads to acrimony and hatred.
Lack of commitment makes one or both parties gradually drift away and take each other for granted, it can lead to infidelity.
Commitment is important in a marriage, it makes couples be faithful to their marriage and feel obligated to make the marriage work.